When God actually answered one of my prayers... :)

I told myself that what I am looking for a guy is someone who is God-fearing and somewhat Christian.


God then gave me you. Someone whose family is "Taong Simbahan", and you yourself attends Church service as much as you can.



Answered prayer... :)

... entry no.2

Minsan kasi na p-paranoid din ako pag hindi mo ako kinakausap...


Baka kasi ayaw mo na sakin...


It's been a whole afternoon already...


Sana talaga busy ka lang talaga.

... entry no.1

I hope there's a medicine... sa mga broken hearted... ang sakit kasi eh... or parang meron bang pampa-manhid na lang ng feelings? para kahit may nakikita na ako, wala na akong nararamdaman? balewala na sa akin? 

Akala mo kasi balewala sa akin... I am just pretending to be okay. Bakit kasi hindi na lang na ako na lang? Yung ako na lang mag isa? Yung wala akong kahati sa pagmamahal mo? Para ibabaling ko na lang sa ibang bagay yung pag intindi ko... 

I lied...

I lied...
When I tell you that you're not the one I like.

I lied...
Whenever I tell myself that it's okay to be your friend.

I lied...
When I told you that I will need your help when a new guy comes into my life.

I lied...
When I told you that you were my like my close friend-slash-bestfriend in one.



You know what hurts me the most? It is the fact that we have put each other in the "friendzone". I can't seem to read your mind. Everything is too complicated. But I'd rather stay this way, than risk our friendship's future.


I am slowly getting afraid that I might actually fall for you already. I need to raise my guard. I need to pretend that everything is alright.


Because that is how it should always be.... for now...

Limitations...

So you've assumed...


There's nothing wrong in assuming. Assumera din ako.
The worst part? it's when the guy you like assumed that it is pertaining to him..


I know my limitations. I have set my boundaries in the first place. I know when to cross the line. And yet, I am not crossing it. Why? I respect you. It fucking hurts. IT REALLY FUCKING HURTS!


I know that you are not going to be able to read this. But if ever you will be able to see this, know that I am truly hurt with what you've said. Coming from the guy I like. I've always liked you for quite some time already. We became friends. Heck, I was wishing it never happened in the first place. But I am hurt. I need to put on a brave face always. I need to hide my own feelings. Why? Because you are my friend in the first place. I am you're friend. I AM YOU'RE FUCKING FRIEND!!!!!  I accepted you for who you are, setting aside my feelings because of that. AND I HATED IT!!!! That hurts me the most....



P.S. You've apologized. I've accepted it. I'm back in the friendzone...

Memories...

I've always wanted to go to an amusement park with the guy I love.


Trying all the rides, especially the Ferris Wheel.


 It seems like amusement parks emit this nostalgic, romantic atmosphere.


I would love to go back with you again. But this time, just the two of us.



I wonder when would that be...

I'm missing you a lot right now....

I am not feeling well right now. I miss how you ask me if I'm alright, or am I feeling well. 

Well. I miss everything about you.




I miss seeing your smile.
I miss seeing you laugh.
I miss your jokes, though they are corny sometimes.
I miss our stupid banters.




What happened to us?


I miss you. I love you.