Here I am again... blogging my frustrations..
Being in love is a wonderful feeling, isn't it? But being in love with the wrong person, not a great one.
Let's see. I'm in love with this person. But seriously, I don't know whether it is love or infatuation. Up to now, I don't know what's the difference between the two.
His name is Choi Siwon. Yup! The Super Junior guy. "Shisus" as what,us, his "followers" call him. He's the epitome of what I want in a guy. Tall, handsome, chinky-eyed, a very religious person, very kind (I think), and gentleman. And not to mention, he's rich! (His family owns a chain of supermrkets in Korea). Who doesn't want to have him as a boyfriend and, maybe, a husband? Me? certainly, I would love him to be my husband, no questions asked.
I was happy to know at first that he doesn't have a girlfriend. Thoughts like "I have a chance of becoming his girlfriend" and "I want to go to Korea so I can meet him and be my love" constantly runs in my head. When Super Show 2 was here in Manila, I screamed my heart out just to cheer for him. Crazy fan girl things, I know. That's my life out of our Hagwon. By day, I'm an ESL teacher, but once outside, I'm a fan girl. And I'm not ashamed of it.
Siwon-oppa has a twitter. And, you guess it right, I'm following him. I constantly send messages to him. There was a time when I send a tweet to him, saying "Saranghae". Lol. I am crazy. But he doesn't know me, so I don't care.
But yeah.... he doesn't know me.... what can I do.....
Today, I found out that he has a girlfriend. And her name is Stella Kim. The moment I knew about this, feelings that I don't want to experience again suddenly came running back to me like a rabid dog that wants to kill me. Yup! Those same feelings when my ex-boyfriend betrayed me. Feelings that I felt when I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. Yup! Those same feelings... feeling of sadness, feeling of despair, feeling of loneliness... Yes, yes, yes.... I'm experiencing it again.
But yeah.... he doesn't know me.... what can I do.....
I'm just a fangirl. And I share him with thousands of other fangirls around the globe. Why would I waste my time to feel this kind of pain that I'm feeling now? Why would I waste my time on him? Because I love him. Because when you love someone, you must be happy for them, no matter what. And because of him, I became much more closer to Hana-nim. Because of him, I always have the strength to face all of life's trials. Because he is my inspiration. And forever, he will be.
~Kim Ae-ri
P.S. By the way, I don't like Stella. Not because he is oppa's girlfriend. But because I just don't like her. Kidding aside, I'm much more healthier looking than her. She's so thin, gosh!
P.P.S. Siwon oppa! You're not yet married, so I still have chance! hahahahaha!
