Robotic... Not a perfect daughter...

Everybody thinks I'm a perfect daughter.

Silent. Not talking back to elders. Obeying what they say or want me to do.

But what I really am is a robot. Always saying yes to what they say. Always doing what they want me to do. Because I am afraid that the "perfect daughter" title will be taken away from me.

Maybe, there really is no such thing as perfect... I am just making that one up...

Valentines Day...

Valentines day. Couples dating, wearing red. Uggh. Yuck.


 I haven't spend Valentines for 5 years in a row now. And I think I'm A-okay. However, I also think that I do want a date for this day as well. To feel special on this "special" day.

 But here I am, spending time writing this blog.

 But I'm happy. That's life. I just think that this day is the most overrated occasion for the whole year. For me, it's not a big deal. Oftentimes, I am always thinking that this is the most expensive day ever. 


But, just like any other single girls out there, I have my dream date for this special day.

Wesley Chan. Of all the guys I like before, I think you are the most "real" of them all. You are my inspiration now a days. My muse. Sometimes, I think, "Why am I not living in California as well?". Perhaps there may be a reason.


But, what if I will have a date with him? What would it be like?


Based on what I see about his personality, our date will just be a simple one. It will consist of a walk in the park, or a nature reserve. Then, we will take photos of each other taking pictures of nature. Oftentimes, we will walk hand in hand, taking care of each other while we traverse the forest. After that, we will drive to a scenic spot, maybe a cliff, to watch the sunset, his arms in my shoulder while I'm leaning on him. Then, we will have dinner in a not-so fancy restaurant. After eating, he will drive me home. But before I get down from his car, he will kiss me in the lips. But just a peck. A 2 second kiss. haha.

Omo. Me and my imaginations. They are so romantic. Le sigh.

Anyways, those are just my thoughts. Naivety. haha. There's no harm with that.

Oh, before I forgot. I dreamed of him last night. We were a couple. Le sigh again.

Crossroads...

It's been awhile since I last wrote an entry here in Blogspot. My last entry date was Tuesday, August 17, 2010. A lot of things happened already since that day. Tuesday, August 17, 2010. I was only 21 years old then, turning 22. I was quite naive back then. Childish I may say. 2010. I was still a teacher. A Saem as my students call me. I was enjoying teaching kids English.

Back then, I consider my job as a past time, and my workplace as a playground. I was the happiest teacher in the school, as they say. But I do have my share of not-so-good moments. But all in all, I really enjoyed my job.


 But there came a time that I saw myself not enjoying what I am doing. Past time became a tedious work. Playground became hell. That was the time that I told myself "Enough". There's no use to whining silently. I've already pushed myself to the limit. It's time to quit. So quit it was.


 2011 came. I became a tech support for Comcast (through Convergys).

I told myself, "I think this job is going to be fun". Though admittedly, I loathe this job before. Same old thing. Work is fun that I considered it child's play. Workplace is a playground again.

But I can't keep up with the ever so changing schedule. Stress is fast creeping up. I was living a very unhealthy lifestyle. Because I work for a US-based company, my shift should be in their time. Meaning, I work at midnight so that I can answer queries for daytime US customers. For a whole year, my daily routine is wake up-eat-work-eat-go home-eat-sleep-then wake up again. It's like a never ending cycle. Off days are spend sleeping the whole day. No social life whatsoever. I will wait for a 2-days straight off days so that I can spend time with my family. Weekends off are very rare. I usually have a Wednesday-Thursday off. Not a good one.

What I love about this job is the camaraderie with my team. I miss them so much. Shout out to Wave 5! ^^ Also, I really love chatting with my customers. And the satisfaction that I get when I get their problems resolve? Endless.

But then, as an agent, we became some sort of a sponge for our customers' rants. Apologizing to them became a routine. It's like saying sorry half-heartedly or you don't care at all but to appease them. That's it. But then, my body can't keep up with all the stress this job has. Eventually, for my own health, I quit this job.

For now, I'm FUNEMPLOYED. I am taking my time off to reflect what I really should do with my life. I'm already 24 years old. I should now decide what I really want to be. I'm not getting young. Mom said that I will go study again, for my own welfare. Alright, I said. It's for my own good. But is this what I really want? Maybe, having a stable job will be good. But I will put my passion into a hobby so that I will not be burn out of it.