A song for HIM..

Planetarium
Ai Otsuka

Yuuzukiyo kaodasu kieteku kodomo no koe
Tooku tooku kono sora no dokoka ni kimi wa irundarou
Natsu no owari ni futari de nuke dashita kono kouen de mitsuketa
Ano seiza nandaka oboeteru?

Aenakutemo kioku wo tadotte onaji shiawase wo mitainda
Ano kaori to tomoni hanabi ga patto hiraku

Ikitaiyo kimi no tokoro e imasugu kakedashite ikitai yo
Makkura de nanimo mienai kowakutemo daijoubu
Kazoe kirenai hoshizora ga imamo zutto kokoni arundayo
Nakanaiyo mukashi kimi to mita kireina sora datta kara

Ano michi made hibiku kutsu no oto ga mimi ni nokoru
Ookina jibun no kage wo mitsumete omounodeshou
Chittomo kawaranai hazu nanoni setsunai kimochi fukurande ku
Donnani omottatte kimi wa mou inai

Ikitai yo kimi no sobani chiisakutemo chiisakutemo
Ichiban ni kimi ga sukidayo tsuyoku irareru
Negai wo nagareboshi ni sotto tonaete mitakeredo
Nakanai yo todoku darou kirei na sorani

Aenakutemo kioku wo tadotte onaji shiawase wo misetainda
Ano kaori to tomoni hanabi ga patto hiraku

Ikitaiyo kimino tokoro e chiisana te wo nigiri shimete
Nakitaiyo sorewa sorewa kirei na sora datta
Negai wo nagare boshi ni sotto tonaete mitakeredo
Nakitai yo todokanai omoi wo kono sora ni


English Translation

The moonlit evening shows its face
And a child's voice is vanishing
Far away, far away, I guess you're somewhere in this sky
In the end of the Summer, we sneaked away to this park we had found
Do you remember that constellation somehow?

Even if I can't meet you, I pursue my memories
I wanna look at the same happiness
Along with that smell, the fireworks open in a flash

I want to live, I want to live and run to your place right now
I can't see anything in the pitch dark, even if it's scary, I'm all right
The countless starry sky is still here now, forever
I won't cry because the sky I saw before with you was beautiful

The sound of your shoes remains in my ears and resounds as far as that path
I guess I'm staring at my own great shadow

It may not change at all but my painful feelings are getting inflated
No matter how I felt, you're no longer with me

I want to live even if it's a little, even if it's a little, right by you're side
You're the one I like the most, so I can be strong
I tried softly reciting a wish upon a shooting star
I won't cry, has it reached you? In this beautiful sky

I want to live, grasping tightly your little hand towards your place
I want to cry, that was, that was a beautiful sky
I tried softly reciting a wish upon a shooting star
I want to cry, you won't reach my feelings in this sky...

Thoughts for the day...

hmm...

I'm just thinking.. why the heck I'm writing my day here at Friendster Bulletin..

But after many thoughts, I came up with an explanation..

I find my solace here at Friendster. that's it.

ANyways.. so how's my day?? quite boring I should say. Just another day.. I always yawn at class. hahahahahaha! specially at my "Human Relations" class. I'm always getting bored at that class.

I also got my I.D. picture taken.. finally.. :P

Tomorrow is August 14... I don't know how am I going to live that day tomorrow.. should I cry? should I celebrate? hmmm.. maybe I should celebrate and buy myself a bouquet of flowers.. I bought myself a ring already.. that very ring that I've been eyeing for many months.. the ring that is supposed to be my engagement ring kasi puro promise lang siya na bibilhan niya ko.. well, I've got to move on.. pera naman niya pinambili ko eh. hahahahahahaha! LoLz.

See.. I can laugh na... hay..

I'm so happy that bit by bit, I'm moving on... I'm not even seeing him na nga eh. I chose not to see him with his snake.. Ako na lang umiiwas. I don't eat my lunch na nga eh kasi I know that when I walk at the lobby, I can see them. I eat my lunch na lang at around 3:00, after my last class. I don't even go to the library kasi I know that they are there.. But come to think of it, bakit nga pala ako yung umiiwas? Dapat sila.. hindi ako. I've done nothing wrong. I've done nothing. They, at the other hand, done something wrong. As in Hellish wrong! But that's my way of coping up. My way of moving on. I'm just waiting the course of nature to turn the tides against them. Bwahahahahahahaha! (I'm beginning to be a devil again!)

Anyways... Lapit na ko grumaduate. but before that.. Birthday muna. hehehe.. Ilang weeks na lang September na naman... Time really flies so fast pag nasa "ber" months na. Di ko na mapapansin na Last sem ko na pla sa college... tapos birthday ko na.. then Christmas... pag dating ng January mabilis na yan kasi I'm going to be a "High School teacher". That's my OJT. And then Graduate na ko. Super excited na ako as in.. I'm thinking of what my grad dress would like.. tapos my hairstyle.. hay..

Anyways.. till here.. sa Friday ulit..

Tcee... :)

Moving on

I'm moving on...

Yes... That's right... I'm moving on...

I'm already tired of what I'm doing to myself... I'm tired of those sleepless nights.. and every time I get depressed, my health is always at risk.. and I can't risk it.. I want to live my life pa... I will not waste my life to some stupid person who just left me floating in a euphoric state...

He doesn't deserve me.. I deserve much better than him.. way way better than him.. someone who will make me one of the important person in his life.. and does not just take advantage of me...

I'm trying to forget all of the memories... even the way he looks...

And as I'm writing this... my heart still aches... I'm choking... my tears wants to run down my cheeks... but I'm tired.. tired of crying.. tired of blaming myself... tired of thinking on what happened... tired of hating myself... tired of my miseries...

This has been a very traumatic experience for me.. because I know I did not do anything wrong...

It's hard... Every time I go to school, I feel like choking and I feel like crying... but I can't do that there.. NOT in school... I will look pathetic...

I can't believe that he even thrown away OUR friendship... he really does not deserve someone like me...

I'm tired... I just want to finish my studies.. anyways, its just a matter of 7 months before I get out of that school... and by that time, I can really say that I've forgotten the past...

I'm moving on...